7 January 2012

THE SILVER FOX DADDY

First of all Happy New Year and all that jizz. I hope 2012 is a shit hot one for you and yours, bitches.

Ok, formalities out the road, I have to apologise for the erratic postlings over the festive season. I could blame it on my BB, but it turns out I am just a fucktard! So, soz for that, but whatevs you don't own me. Face.

So, it's SYDNEY BITCH and I have had the most amaze New Year in the harbour city. Like, totes amaze.

It is so hot and believe me So. Are. The. Guys. Like, I am not even kidding. Whenever I am around, there is an audible *BEEP*BEEP*BEEP* denoting how many times I have tried to back up onto one of the locals.

I really am quite tired now.

And that brings me neatly to the title track of this postling: The Silver Fox Daddy.

Look, I am the first to admit that I am partial to a bit of Daddy action. Throw in the added bonus he is a Silver Fox and the *BEEPING* becomes unbearable.

We met on a dancefloor on New Years Day. He had his shirt off revealing a pair of pectoral muscles that were covered in hair not unlike the shag pile rug on the sitting room floor in my Aunt's holiday home. It looked like you could literally lose a toy car in it, like I did in 1986.

There were a few looks exchanged, but I got tired of waiting and went in for the kill like one of those crazy animals on the Tundra out of Frozen Planet. Seriously, you should have seen me, I was like the Owl at 0.15 seconds. My friend said later that I handed her my Corona and yelled, "Hold that for a minute", then marched up to him and pashed him. No hello, no how do you do. Just full face rape.

Woof, apparently.

So, later on we headed back to his apartment for some Loz Love in his bed. As we rolled around for a while he reached for the condoms and lube. That's lofty, I thought, but you don't argue with the Silver Fox Daddy.

You do whatever they want.

Look, I feel like I have to preface this next part with something you probably already know but, anyway here goes...I am a Bottom. I know shocking *rolls eyes* But I am! I am not a Top and I am not Versatile, I am a Bottom plain and simple *BEEP*

So, when he started to roll the condom onto my cock I nearly fainted. How on earth did this happen? The Silver Fox Daddy is a Bottom too! I thought I had successfully deciphered his sexual leanings: they say girls can tell in the first 6.5 seconds whether they will sleep with a guy, well gays can tell in the first 6.5 seconds whether they will sleep with a guy, whether it will be long term thing and whether they will need to be the "man" or the "woman". Capiche? What part of me singing all the words to Perfection by Dannii Minogue made him think that I was going to be the "man"? If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, then it probably is a fucking duck!

So the Battle of the Bottoms ensued:

No, I don't want to.
Well, I don't want to either.
But you're the more masculine.
Well you came up to me first.
But you're older.
But you bought me a drink.
But you have your own apartment.

Ugh.

So, that went on for a while till we both got bored and settled for mutual BJ's. When we finally fell asleep, he spooned me. So, I guess I have to be happy for small victories, because really, who ever gets spooned is really the Bottom.

*BEEP*

1 comment:

  1. ohh yeah !! gotta luuurve a silver fox !

    ReplyDelete

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