10 May 2012


Well I've had my say and now it's his turn:

(FYI the below was a comment left in response to SPRUNG)

This is a great blog. Interesting. Funny. Well-written. In fact, one should even question whether your creative thoughts, exceptional writing ability and quirky sense of humour are truly being properly utilised in a world full of shoes.

I’ve been particularly interested in the story of The Straight-ish Guy. Do you think that he represents The Straight-Ish Guy that we all find in our lives at some stage? What about calling him The Straight-ish GuyS?

Anyway, if I may take his (or ‘their’) side for one moment:
--Is he really akin to the Devil? After all, he didn’t put-out on the first night (not necessarily a bad thing), he wrote some sweet messages, didn’t show offence at your whorish sex-crazed texts, and seemingly entertained you when it mattered?
--Perhaps the picture of him that you have painted here lacks a slightly different (yet crucial, for the sake of neutrality) point of view?
--Perhaps he isn’t the closeted jock who travels the world one dirty dance floor pash at a time -- what if sport-talk, spooning and games of slaps are more his thing?
--Ever thought that maybe his “out of town” excuses were made because he was, well, out of town?
--Maybe his work life dictates the direction of his relationships, which are indeed fewer and more far between than your own? More than this, what if HE TOO is actually in the midst of his own “Project New Boyfriend”?

However these are all speculative questions, and so merely act as food for thought... Of course, like you I am entitled to my own opinion. It's just the beauty of you owning a blog is that your opinion just happens to be one that is published and read by the hordes around the world. (The downside, of course, is that this 'horde' can include your subject(s) since you can’t control who has access to your blogs.)

Oh, at this point I should probably mention an important fact: I am The Straight-ish Guy. Truly.

You know those funny moments when you advertise to fill your spare room and the first person who rocks up is the strange chick that sat opposite you in Grade 7 Science? Or when you apply for a job having newly arrived in a foreign country and sitting opposite you on the interview table is your ex’s cousin? Well this is another of those moments.

Don't ask me how he came across it, but some gay guy who I’ve never met referred a girlfriend of his to this blog to get “an insight into a gay man’s world”. Well that girlfriend loved the blog and thought it appropriate to share the link with one of her closest friends, another gay man living on the other side of the world.

As in, me. Cuntbag Fucknose.

Dizzying, eh? I do want the hordes to know one thing though: you certainly cannot be accused of lying. Every event, text, kiss, egg-and-wilted-spinach-on-sourdough breakfast that is reported here is factually quite accurate, even if reported in a one-sided manner.

Never fear, however, because I realise that stories (and especially blogs) are by their very nature personal and therefore one-sided, and so thrive on that personal touch. This one was just slightly more personal for me than most other readers.

Anyway, that brings to light a rather unfortunate fact that may disappoint a lot of your followers: all this time, that guy so affectionately coined “The Straight-ish Guy” isn’t straight-ish after all. And I can’t help but think it’s wildly poetic that, in fact, I would have never stumbled across this blog if I HAD have been some ‘straight’ Aussie with a girlfriend who travels the world to shag people like ‘vous’. In truth, it is only because every one of my family members and all of my friends know that I do, in fact, prefer the cock that I was sent the link to your blog by a dear fag-hag of mine, to complete this oh-so-very-entertaining circle of life (minus the African drums and the lions, but not minus the link to Elton John...)

“A drunken giraffe giving birth?” I’ll take that.
“Cuntbag Fucknose?” That too.
“One of those (Twitter) wankers who needs to seek validation?” If you say so.

But please don’t accuse me of the worst crime of all: being a girl-dater. I’m not THAT crazy.


Continue the story here.


  1. Ouch!! I guess thats the end of that then :-s

  2. Ohh will you two just get together and get it over with !!! :-)

  3. But what is your response to the response Laurence???

  4. I totally see the points raised above, it seems like both want to head in the same direction as each other but both find different paths to get there. One sends romantic text, the other sexy, but when you break it down, its really trying to achieve the same thing. Stating that sport-talk, spooning and plays of slaps would make any gay mans heart melt, but nothing addresses the opinions inferred with the less so reliable text message replies. Anyone would get defensive on some level when you have to deal with that degree of rejection. In this case, it ended in something about a bag and a nose which to the intended audience made complete justifiable sense. I just think everyones next question will be, can you guys talk and work out the points behind all of this and move on, or is this just another chapter in PNBF?

  5. I would like to point out what has been killing all of us who know The Straight-ish (not so straight) Guy... HE DOESN'T RESPOND TO ANYONE'S TEXTS! Deadset. If Elton himself texted, it's unlikely he would receive a response. Now that that's out in the open, both of you need to come back to Oz, get married, have some babies and be done with it. Amen, wiggas.

  6. OMG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im on the other side and youre totally right.... they should just get married already !! you work your side and I'll work mine !

  7. can they start with a date maybe????

  8. I don't buy it.

    Yes, there are people who are less likely to respond to texts, or generally off the communication grid more than others. But there is NO ONE who doesn't respond to someone with whom he is GENUINELY interested in pursuing a relationship.

    Sure people get busy, things come up, you go out of town, but if you really want to see someone you make time.

    All signs point to "he's just not that into you."

    Straight-ish guy, I respect your even keeled response to the blog posts, but to be honest I get the feeling the only reason you are justifying your behavior now is because you think there are "hordes" of people out there judging you. You don't have to apologize for not really liking someone the same way they like you. It happens all the time. Lucky for you, you now have this blog as an excuse not to return texts.


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