19 December 2012

CHECKLISTS

I queen out when it comes to checklists.

Especially with Christmas coming all over us.

I love writing the checklist. I love looking at the checklist. I love checking things off the checklist. It's so satisfying. I'll even write down already completed tasks just so I can check them off. Sometimes in red for a more dramatic effect.

I'm doing a checklist for my Potential New Boyfriend.

1. Stylish
2. Good looking
3. Good body
4. Well paid job that he loves
5. Well travelled
6. Funny
7. Penis like a babies arm

These are my top seven. I could add to them but we could be here till next Christmas and I've actually just come to the realisation that he's too good for me.

I've gotta go back to university!

This dawned upon me the other night when I was out on a date with a gay who dropped a question that is still detonating:

"So are you going to be the head of something soon?"

Now. I rarely talk about what I do to keep a roof over my head and I am not going to start here, but let's just say it ain't The Little Blog That Could (aka PNBF) that is putting protein shakes on the table.

I am also trying to stay PNBF incognito to potential new suitors and tending not to lead with the fact that the evening I am having with them could potentially be read worldwide by thousands of people (30,000 to be exact, thanks!)

That being said, I feel like I have achieved in my everyday work life. However, unless you are the "head" of something apparently not.

Well no "head" for him tonight, I thought, but I actually got upset and quickly scrambled for an answer that would quench his thirst for ambition.

"Err, I'm a writer!" I blurted out, "I have a blog called Project New Boyfriend..."

He looked puzzled.

"And I am researching a novel."

Oh well played, Lozzie, well played.

But I understood what he was ultimately getting at because I was ultimately getting at the same thing: I wanted him to have certain aspirations for his life, certain goals, certain accomplishments, be the head of something. I was just shocked that he wanted me to have the same life aspirations, life goals, life accomplishments. 

And if I didn't have them it was a deal breaker. How dare he!

We get to a certain dating age where we expect our date to have arrived at a point in their career where they are not "just doing a job" or on the "up".

Especially if you are 30ish like me.

You have to at least landed somewhere that is acceptable to your age or be well on your way. People want to be inspired by your career enthusiasm. Or perhaps they just want the rest of the world to know that you have ambition and can be proud to show you off.

Or did I just wanna know that I could quit my job and write that novel knowing he would be able to take care of me?

What a first date that would be.

"So, what do you do?"

"I'm researching a novel that you're going to finance. I'm gonna call it The Freeloading Fag.

I managed to appease my aforementioned suitor by throwing him the writer bone. He gnawed on that for a while until he was satisfied I was a tortured artist and not going to be the head of something soon. BTW he was a Web Developer. I know *rolls eyes*

When I got home, I started a new checklist.

1. Start researching a novel.

1 comment:

  1. Is this blog still going? Loosing interest

    ReplyDelete

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